I am not understanding the full issue here - maybe being concerned about the retroactive aspect but surely you have records of sending payments? If you’ve been sending as much as you say and can prove it, I would be hard pressed to believe a judge would order retroactive support when neither were citizens until recently.

Yes. One would hope. But I don't know how these systems work. CA, as we all know, is a very liberal state.

Why would you not assist your daughter in gaining citizenship? That’s life changing and honestly, you haven’t been super present outside of financial support (which great for doing that), it’s a small ask with serious impact.

I was thinking of getting her citizenship. Perhaps she wants to attend college or come her as an adult. Sure, sounds good!

But, as a child she has a much much better life there than here. Here she will be in a public school, her mother and her will have a lower standard of living than they do now, no maids, no nannies, no gardener, no dining room table piled high with candy, treats, and snacks. And she would be in the toxic culture of the USA. I would rather her grow up in her Asian country where the culture respects their elders, their teachers, and the law.

And, of course, after looking into the child support laws of CA I am surprised they just take a 30% chunk or whatever of what the parent makes and gives it to the child. Not saying I can think of a better method, but, again, I've been broke my entire life and have just in the last 10 years began to make and save some money. Can you blame me for being upset if I would have to give that money to the mother seeing as she tricked me into having her child?

I think you’re way overthinking the entire situation. Mom and daughter want to move here, understandably so. Feels like you’ve got away with mostly not being much of a parent besides a check and now you’re concerned how it’s going to have a greater impact on your life.

Yes, you hit the nail on the head.