This is /r/shutupandtakemymoney, and I'm going to salvage this pathetic excuse for a submission that doesn't even come close to doing justice to this subreddit's title. I know why you're here. You're not the type of trust-fund cunt that wants to spend their excess money to literally shit gold, and not even salvage the flakes afterwards. No, you're just a simple person that likes chocolate and marshmallows. And you want a luxurious, chocolate-covered marshmallow in your fucking mailbox, for a perfectly fucking reasonable price.
These are what you're looking for.
This chocolate maker is the only guy in the USA (last I checked) who makes chocolate truly from scratch; from raw, unprocessed cocoa beans. Every other American chocolatier imports processed cocoa from Europe. I guarantee you that this chocolate is at least as good as the "finest Belgian Capital-C Chocolate" in those extravagance-encrusted miniature bricks of asbestos. Hell, it's probably ten times better; if that chef that made those sad, deranged excuses for marshmallows thought 24 Karat gold leaf was missing from his fucking flavor profile, I really don't want to know what the black stuff is.
And no, I'm not a shill for Jacques Torres. I'm just sick of people buying Hershey's, and thinking that's what chocolate is. I don't know whether it tastes like vomit because of the colonists not having fresh milk and using their spoiled milk in their chocolate and Americans becoming accustomed to the taste, or if it's just because Hershey's is the devil and wants to stop people from experiencing real chocolate, but that doesn't change the fact that it tastes like vomit. Just stop, or at least limit yourself to two Reese's cup a week or something. Spend $7.50 on some marshmallows you can fucking SAVOR. Pace yourself with these, don't waste them. One fucking marshmallow is a fucking experience.
And speaking of seven-fucking-fifty, that's half the fucking price of what OP posted, too. Now, are they half the fucking price including shipping? The fuck do I know, I'm not your fucking accountant. Check the damn websites if you actually care for some reason, or just buy the good marshmallows if you're a reasonable damn person.
Oh, and pick up some hot chocolate while you're at it. Get the Wicked kind if you and/or your significant other are into spicy and/or kinky things. Thank me later.