My mom for a while because I watched her pain after my brother died from a gunshot wound. My brother for that reason plus his response to the next year when my father shot himself. But those didnt count as much for me as my ex who even after we broke up I just wanted to be there for and protect encluding when she was suicidal. Hell we were together nearly 12 years and probably is the only reason survived the last 10. Well here and the dog but he will be better off with just her.

Every day there are fewer thungs holding me back. I feel it is getting close though and I doubt I will make it to my birthday next month if I can even survive tomorrow.