I'm sorry you are growing through this difficulty. It can take up to a year or more, I find, for people to get used to their new roles.

I found that one of the most important thing in our relationship was to focus on how much rest we both got rather than how much work we both put in. So if I need 3 hours of rest on a Friday night, I planned for it and took it. At first it was rough, because I would constantly bring up the rest he go. So that built resentment. I stopped that and instead said what I needed for my well-being without pointing out what he got. That was a serious changing point in our relationship and we are at baby #2 now and getting a long great. It almost means he does more work because I take more rest yet I never brought up him doing more work. You see the difference? We also divided household tasks based on our dislikes. I hate shopping and cleaning the kitchen and doing the cat litters. He hates cooking and cleaning the bathrooms at the level I find clean. So we split that and the rest is however is has time. Communication was important and more so, how we communicated. I hope this helps you.