Oh yeah, I'm full on agoraphobic for like 5 years now.

I was making progress then the pandemic hit.

I'm still trying, but I almost hyperventilated just driving around the block 2 weeks ago. I was going to this nearby grocery store for coffee creamer to help push my boundaries a little and it started raining and I panicked and couldn't remember how to turn the windshield wipers on because I haven't driven in a long time. So I turned back around.

I have a lot of ACEs. I have CPTSD. I am still trying to crawl out of this but the fear, while I know it's entirely irrational, is so real and visceral that even walking off of my porch makes my stomach cramp as I sweat bullets.

If you have any supportive people in your life reach out and get help ASAP. Don't let my life become yours. I will never get that 5 years back and the longer you give in the harder it is to come back from.

Google Vocational Rehabilitation in your area. Please don't make my mistakes because this is so hard to cope with. I don't wish this on anyone.