I'm not at all a happy, fulfilled person. I too see the monotony of modern life. But there's another "level" that I drop to when life seems not quite right. Everyone is worried about paying their bills, making the mortgage, maybe even impressing the neighbors--they're living on a "higher level". They're focused on the abstract concept of money.
Don't get me wrong, money is great. It saves us from hunting, gathering, and building our own shelter. It allows people to specialize in certain fields in order to help produce goods and services more efficiently. Because of this, modern life has become more and more monotonous. You're not out there fishing AND building your own cabin AND sewing your own clothes AND creating your own entertainment. No. You're just doing the job that you're specifically qualified for, day after day. And you're doing it for a significant portion of your day. You know that if you show up and produce the work, that you will be able to feed yourself and your family--it's a given. But if you lived long ago, you wouldn't take so much for granted. There would be no government safety nets to make sure you eat. You would be hungry.. you would go out and hunt everyday to survive. You wouldn't be worried about how pointless life is. You would be worried about satisfying your literal hunger.
But nowadays, you don't have to worry about that in 1st world countries. Your mind is now free to think whatever it wants. Unfortunately, too often people get wrapped up in this idea that life should be something more than survival and procreation. I do as well. But once you drop that thought, you're free to think what you want again. This is your only chance to be alive and breathing. Don't waste it with negative thoughts. Just relax, and find ways to enjoy the experience.
If you hate your life, change it. Make a very large, drastic change if need be. Take a pay cut if you need to. Explain to your wife that you're not satisfied in life, and you want to make drastic changes. Think about it... it's YOUR life. Your experience here. Maybe taking a 20K/year paycut to spend time with your family (or yourself) will actually be better for your family?
Just don't take this shit too seriously. Don't get caught up in "i can't", instead, get caught up in thinking differently--doing things differently.