Sorry you're going through a breakup, in addition to already suffering anxiety and depression. From your post history, I see you're relatively young (17). Assuming your ex-boyfriend is about the same age, my only advice is to remember that guys that age usually aren't very developed emotionally, mentally, or in terms of strength of character, like having firm values and principles (IMHO, nowadays most guys don't ever really mature without some serious help, but that's a separate topic). Maybe it would hurt less to consider that his developmental age is probably about 4-5 years behind yours. Also, not to sound too cliche, but it's totally normal to have massive anxiety and depression at your stage of life. (Nowadays, in general, a person would have to be crazy not to. :-)