I really appreciate your compassion and sensitivity.

Without being graphic or posting an outdated diagnosis to myself...I had always wanted to be a girl when I was a young boy but I had overcome that to a point where I was comfortable enough to carry on and live past it; After being severly assaulted as a child to a degree that it might easily have cost me my life I forgot a lot about myself and I have ever since had a somewhat reduced sensation of touch to my body, I grew very fond of seeking physical euphoria shortly after... I had experienced intercourse with the opposite sex many years later as an intact male with fully function parts and had no inclination to transition to a woman; However due to certain circumstances I underwent an adult circumcision and unknowingly or unconcented frenectomy due partially to phimosis - had I done my research I would have opted for stretching if necessary or pedicle flaps to remain fully Senate and functioning. Shortly after i was sexually assaulted by my girlfriend that caused peyronies disease even furthering the difficulty and Dysmorphic condition.

Very soon after all of this and following recovery from my surgery I felt very inadequate and was not enjoying sex anywhere near as much, then I turned to drugs and got involved with the "wrong crowd" and ended up getting in big trouble and was wrongfully accused and then gang beaten by several police officers beyond reproach and defensless to an almost unrecognizable state from face and head swelling.. By this point after many years of difficult (not complete) recovery I said enough is enough with drugs and hospital stays and being angry with myself and the world and saught to feel more comfortable in my body and facilitate an easier way for me to feel cared for in the way i picture a woman gets cared for by a man emotionally and physically and get the vagina I wanted all those years ago.

The rest is history - I am a Trans Woman now and I couldn't be happier.

The difference that I see is in the current and future potential of those who may not need or want surgery to challenge the gender norms and roles every day and improve society.. whereas crossdressers as I understand them do it mainly temporarily and for others entertainment or their fantasies.

I strongly dislike to hear about somebody downplaying others struggles that they especially have no first hand lived experience with or when they choose to ignore these struggles to stimulate their ignorant egos. I have done extensive research into the effects of my challenges and many of other people's to better understand the rhetoric of these people any maybe myself too, Simply put there is no clear explanation for it except ignorance, jealousy and other often destructive emotions - some people are just bad or dark to no end or superiorly negative beings that I want nothing to do with but to prove them wrong and help them see the light and even ignore.