The best way to relieve some of her stress is to start taking responsibility for yourself. I use a chair full time and I have never asked anyone to dress or wash me. I do all the chores around my own apartment and I am 100% independent. Granted, I don't have an sci, I'm a bilateral amputee, but I have plenty of friends who do (including a guy who's a quadriplegic) and they're all independent. Not to be blunt, but it sounds like you're using your disability to justify doing nothing. People need tough love after a life changing injury, and it sounds like you didn't get enough tough love. If you just can't or won't start doing things for yourself then you need to hire a carer. It isn't your gf's responsibility to wait on you hand and foot.