My thoughts would be to be sure to encourage, praise and/or thank her when she does use you in some way for her sexual pleasure and that when she does so it makes the chastity even more impactful or meaningful or fun for you, if indeed that's the case.

We have discovered that in the beginning of the journey, I/we didn't know just how hard this would be for her, and she did experience a huge top-drop. For instance, I felt like while she agreed to take this journey with me, she didn't fully understand the objective. She didn't understand that this is about her taking control of my sexuality for her benefit, but every tease she did put me at the center of attention as if the tease wasn't meant to entertain her whims. I, on the other hand, had a very different idea in mind of what teasing meant. I believed I would be pressed into servicing her sexually; like give her oral sex on deman, with no expectation of receiving anything in return.

We took a brief holiday from the lifestyle to come to terms with the problem of not giving her positive feedback, and assurance that all her effort to take over as the dominant partner isn't taken for granted, that it is really appreciated. The problem is, she rarely if ever wants me to service her sexially, and it send me down a mental spiral where I start to think at first, it's okay, she probably just had a stressful week. Then I'll go another week, I will offer her positive reinforcement that I truly appreciate her effort to take charge and everything she does, but nothing, I don't get any indication that she wants me to service her sexually, and my mind will really spiral to so really dark places. For instance, I'll start thinking, maybe I'm not subbing right? Maybe I'm not sexy? Am I trying to hard? Do I not perform oral sex well enough? and in really dark dark depths of my mind I'll start thinking, she doesn't want me to get her off because I'm not man enough, or, she must need me to be more alpha than I can give. or, she doesn't want it from me because she's getting what she needs from someone else. I've even found myself thinking, She just wants to make me so fed up because she want to end the marriage, but doesn't want to be the bad guy.

I can tolerate and enjoy being denied, my orgasms. I really struggle with her denying me from providing orgasms for her because it really makes me feel useless and unloved. And communicating those feelings in a way that doesn't make her feel like she's a terrible dominant female, or like I'm begging, or like I'm ungrateful is really treacherous.