Yeah. I couldn't be on the same page with the INTJ I was attracted to, cause I couldn't keep up with his overthinking, it was really interesting I used my Ni a lot when I was thinking about him. Lot of mind games. Very stressful.

I think being straightforward about your feelings, taking the lead, asking them questions, clear communication, consistent tangible efforts from ESFP side(this applies for everyone) is the way. Being patient, giving the INTJ time and space.

At the same time you need to be aware when to stop(for ESFP) cause if the INTJ is reluctant, says it won't happen. You need to believe him and let go. Cause it is not going to happen. They stand by their standards and predictions.

It would become toxic very quickly if you both play mind games(cause I noticed the natural mode of ESFP is Se, ESFP need to show it in physical world that they care about the INTJ and not try to communicate like the INTJ, cause their confessions would be in abstract way which ESFP would not consider real), someone needs to step up and ask real questions. And I've noticed that ESFP would be doing this cause INTJ would never.

I learnt a lot about myself through my INTJ encounter.