Give yourself time to recover. Try not to be too hard on yourself. It’s not like you were drunk and made those decisions.

Your brain hijacked itself, and if it was your first episode, you likely didn’t realize you were manic. And everything you felt likely felt like the truth

You knew you were sober, so the fact you felt the way you did further solidified those delusions.

The cringing is natural, feeling like a shell of yourself is likely to happen once you are back to normal. Depression tends to follow mania.

Things will get better though! You now will know when what you feel doesn’t match your actual state, you have learned who your true support network is, and you know that people like us have to be more cognizant of our feelings and react in turn to mitigate the fallout.

You will be fine, you have to keep moving forward.

Just practice Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Try to dissect why you feel the way you do, and be calculated on how you respond to it. Try not to act on impulse, speak only after considering the weight of what you say.

You will be fine!