I'm very sorry about her father.

I will say I didn't understand I was different until elementary school so it's possible. But once I hit elementary, it became VERY obvious. I was pretty happily oblivious until first grade.

About someone not seeing her best. We all have bad days. There will always be people commenting about it. That's just life, autistic or not. It's more about teaching your kids to move on from the hurt and possibly improve their behavior for next time. It's okay to be sad about the comment and the meaning behind it. I would be as well. But try not to let it ruin your mood. There are things your daughter will find easy that others will struggle with.

My husband and I always did well academically with little effort. Also, because our energy was so much, athletically we both found wonderful sports hobbies that we could easily pickup.

I'm really glad you're looking into alternative preschools. We are as well. There are usually groups your can find online in the meantime.

Many hugs!!