if dream had power and control he wouldn't use it to gain something like items, he would use it for his friends and allies.
Smp!Dream wanted power for himself tho. He wanted to be "The Guy™" on the smp. He wanted to control people. Not because he wants to give them freedom but he wanted to have leverage. He plans on taking valuables from everyone so he would be at the top. He didn't care about other people. Also for friends, he doesnt really have much of them right now.
but if it was a choice between dream and Tommy being the ruler,
But Tommy didn't want to be ruler. He had a chance in second revolution and he gave upon it. There won't be a choice between them, Tommy didn't plan on it.
Remember before Tommy came? The SMP was alot more chill (BTW, again, this is about the lore, I'm sure Tommy irl is an awesome guy) , then Tommy came. He burned down houses even though dream told him not to. He started wars, etc etc.
Before Tommy smp was just a place for friends to hang out, it didn't had any plots or characters. Just friends having fun. After Tommy and Wilbur smp become the thing it is right now. It had different events, characters... Actually we all owe Tommy because he is the reason why Dreamsmp this big of a thing right now. Tommy made smp interesting with all those chaos happening.
Tommy took everything that mattered to him away from him.
He didn't actually. If it's Dream took from Tommy, not other way around. There was an entire disc saga just because of this.
When he burned down George's house, didn't he get a bit more angry than needed to manipulate others? I feel like his character was actually angry. Not saying he had a bond with the house, I think it was the fact that Tommy basically burned down George's house even though George had nothing to do with the discs at that point. George was completely innocent from that.
Tommy didn't do it to be bitter to George or something. It was an accident. He was just planing in making a stupid joke to a friend. Even if Dream got unnecessarily angry the whole problem could have been solved without and entire exile arc. But it didn't, why? Because Dream loves power, he thrives for it. He had a chance to have power upon Tommy and he abused it to the end.
Dream put an entire country in an obsidian box because just one person in it did wrong. Like wtf?!?