Insecure upbringing & the lack of time with my family as a child. In elementary school and middle school my parents worked long hours and sent me to aftercare til like 7pm or 8pm. If my parents were a minute late I would assume they died. (Extreme lol) Also being in aftercare I wasn’t around too many kids I liked so much- leading to isolation, avoidance and poorer development of social skills. I also was a little embarrassed what my peers thought bc they got to stay home alone.

The stressful long hours of my parents’ jobs caused additional stress and led to family arguments, spouse arguments and overall a bad mood once my parents got off work. Even once I could stay home alone in ha I would isolate myself in my room in fear in an effort to not annoy my parents when they got home.

I developed some social anxiety (though I masked it) and had my first panic attack at 16. In college I started having panic attacks daily due adhd symptoms coming out (the material wasn’t easy to wing anymore) & the pressure to have good social skills. I no longer was able to leave my dorm & failing all my classes and sought medical care.