I feel simultaneously agender and demigirl and transmasc and it's confusing as fuck. I don't know how to explain it really. All I know is that ever since I was 4 I've known I wasn't a girl. But I dress differently depending on my mood and the day. And most of the time my chosen name feels familiar and correct and sometimes it feels odd. I want to be handsome af and for people to talk to me like I'm a man but I also want my girlfriend to think I'm pretty. And while my female anatomy gives me dysphoria and I often wish I had a different physique, I'm happy that my girlfriend is into it and thinks I'm attractive - largely because I have curvy female anatomy and she's super gay.