Last but not least
MINDSET:
In my opinion, this is the most important ingredient to success but also the most difficult. From battling alcoholism, to recovery, self-doubt issues, self-esteem issues, self-worth issues, body image issues etc, to where I am today has taken A TON of hard work mentally. And while I still have a lot of inner work to do, I’m in the best place I’ve ever been.
Meditation. I had never meditated a day in my life until October, 2020. I was a skeptic but heard nothing but endless benefits to it so I decided to give it a try. Best decision. I heard of a lady named Emily Fletcher through one of my coaching mentors and looked her up. Her practice is called The Ziva Technique and it resonated with me because you don’t have to sit on the ground with your legs crossed chanting “ohm”. In fact, there are tons of different methods out there that aren’t “woo-woo”, I just assumed they all were because I knew nothing about meditation. Her book is called “Stress Less, Accomplish More” where she teaches you her technique. I listened to it on Audible but there’s a hard copy too. I enjoyed it so much that after a few weeks I enrolled in her online course to further my practice. It’s crazy how much this shit grounds you and calms you in everyday life. I’m not gonna list all the personal benefits I’ve noticed but there’s been tons. I actually didn’t even realize HOW much it helped me until I fell off of my meditation this summer for a couple months and started to feel anxious and irritable. So I’m back on the train. If you’re not into, that’s cool. To each their own. And again, Ziva resonated with me but there’s TONS of different methods out there so you can find one that suits you.
I started reading and listening to other books and podcasts to guide my journey. Jay Shetty’s book “Think like a Monk” is a good listen with some nice insights. He also has a podcast and a very soothing and comforting voice. Lewis Howes has a good podcast. Brene Brown has some great books. Atomic Habits is a great read and very helpful for trying to break habits that don’t serve you, and replace them with one’s that do. I read Allen Carr’s “Easy way to Stop Smoking” to quit my 20 year long smoking habit. Annie Grace’s “This Naked Mind” has some good insights if you’re looking to quit drinking or even just cut back. There’s tons of great shit out there. But the key is not just to read it or listen to it, you actually have to apply it too.
I feel like we were taught to believe that you need motivation to get things going, but it’s in fact the opposite. You need to take action first. When you start taking action, you become motivated to keep going. You’re never always gonna be motivated to exercise or cook a healthy meal or whatever, you just gotta do it anyways. A game-changer for me was discovering Mel Robbins’ “5 Second Rule”. She wrote a whole book about it with science to back it up. It sounds too simple and crazy but the theory is, every time you think about doing something you should be doing, countdown from 5-4-3-2-1. When you hit 1, get up and do the fucking thing! You have a 5 second window before you talk yourself out something. So if you’re thinking about working out, 5-4-3-2-1 in your head (or out loud) and get the fuck up and just do it! Can’t get outta bed? 5-4-3-2-1 get up! It sounds dumb but look it up and try it. I fucking love Mel Robbins btw. She also has this thing where you High Five yourself in the mirror. It’s about becoming your own biggest cheerleader. You should look that up too. It all sounds very cheesy, I know. And it is lol. But this shit works, and if it doesn’t for you then don’t do it. But I think sometimes we could use all the help we can get and this journey is about trying new things. Because what you’re currently doing really isn’t working for ya, is it?
DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. From friends, to family, to celebrities and athletes. And whether it be their journey, their progress, their body, whatever….just stop! Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all unique and different. What works for someone might not work for you, or take you longer to achieve. That’s ok. And stop following the social media accounts that leave you feeling envious and crappy about yourself rather than inspired. Our bodies are all different and unique, so it will only drag you if your goal is too look like a Kardashian sister. That’s an impossible standard unless you have access to the world’s top surgeons, trainers, nutritionist etc. Learn to love, respect and accept what you were born with. I know it’s hard. Take a look and the mirror and instead of picking apart everything you hate, try and find something positive to say. Even if it’s as simple as, I love my legs because they bring me from point A to B. Or I have pretty eyes. Start being kind to it.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. This whole process is gonna be uncomfortable. Mentally prepare for that. What I was taught in my studies is to take a pause. When you’re about to reach for that bag of chips or soda or chocolate, pause for a minute. Sit down. You’re probably feeling uncomfortable because you’re craving something right? Close your eyes for a minute and analyze that feeling. Where is your discomfort showing up? Is it a knot in your gut, tightness in your chest, tingling in your skin? Whatever it is, ask yourself what’s so bad about it. It’s just a sensation and it’s gonna pass. Try and ride it out. And if that doesn’t work, that’s ok. Eat what you’re craving without judgement. But you at least created that pause and if you keep doing it, you might realize you’re not actually craving the food but something else. Have a bubble bath, drink an herbal tea, go for a walk around the block. Find something to do to distract you or fill the void you’re searching for besides food, unless you’re really hungry of course.
Look my dears, none of the shit is easy so don’t be too hard on yourself along the way. You will fuck up. You will fall. It’s gonna take a lot of trial and error. But just keep going. I feel like I probably have even more to say but this post is long enough already lol and I don’t know if anyone even got this far. Attention spans run thin these days so kudos to you if you did read it all the way through. I believe when there’s a will there’s a way. You gotta believe in yourself though. It’s taken your brain years and years of conditioning to develop your current habits, it’s gonna take time to break them. Be patient. And I can’t stress enough, be kind to yourself.
Hopefully something here resonated for you. If not, or if you disagree with anything I’ve said, that’s totally cool. These are just my personal thoughts and experiences and you by know means have to listen. I encourage you to do whatever feels right for. And I’m wishing you all the best of luck on whichever path you take. Much love and thanks for listening.