Now that the shit-dust has settled: What do you really think of season 9?

Private Dancer- They really missed an opportunity here. They could have had a cool, calm and collected former SAS sniper dude who sets traps for Ricky, is suspecting of Bubbles, is immune to Julian’s sexiness, and outsmarts the collective brains of all three. A counter-balance to the crazy of Ricky and a real ‘they’ve met their match’ scenario. Jim gets overwhelmed by the Boys’ antics because the Boys are the worst thing that’s ever happened to him, the Boys’ bullshit would have been nothing for a ‘decorated war hero’. Instead they went the same route they did with the evangelical in ‘The Bible Pimp’ episode or the spiritual guru, Don, in season 8. These characters are lazy because their material has been written over and over and over and over in show after show, movie after movie. ‘OMG PUSHY CHRISTIANZ AMIRITE FANS!?’ ‘HAHAthe dumb spiritual cocksucker MEDITates the crabz away, HAHa!’ ‘Wowe CRAZY WAR veteran Calls EVERyONE soldier HaHa!’ They skirted the stupid stereotype that everyone already knows and added zero dynamic range or individuality to him. It’s a recycling process. There’s no world where I would believe that your average high tier operator is going to retire from that life and be saluting people and calling them ‘SOUL-JA’. Jim Lahey could have finally found his rook in the chess game that is Sunnyvale. That could have led to a more DECENT season where the boys really do meet their match and have to use an alternative, new solution we haven’t seen before to defeat him. When Randy finds the wallet and sees that he’s a liar I thought, OK they are going to fix it, now this is believable, now his behavior makes sense and all these shitty annoying scenes will be worth suffering through because he will be ousted by Randy. But he just sits on it. He barely mentions it but a few times in the middle of chaotic moments that should have been the pinnacle check-mate on the fake Colonel. It could have been a refreshing character, but it was just the same cock-sucking strategy of taking a character and amplifying the negative traits to a boiling point of annoyance. Randy- Randy was abused and pushed this season more than any other season and yet he barely took his pants off. Again, he finds the evidence he needs to get rid of the problem (P-Dancer) and still finds himself being choked on the ground while PD is calling him soldier (SOUL-JA as was pronounced). I don’t believe for a second that the happenings of the first few episodes wouldn’t have, in reality, driven Randy to alter his allegiance and seek refuge in the Boys, turning his back on Jim Lahey’s agenda or at least return to hooking for cheeseburgers. Mr. Lahey- John Dunsworth is one celebrity that I would like to meet. He’s the most talented performer on this show and I don’t think the show would have been a success without John’s drunken Jim Lahey. I lost it when he was in the portable hot tub. He’s aging perfectly. He’s not talking about being on the force, he shifted his strategy to making Sunnyvale a retirement home and is acting like an ‘old-man’. Everyone has a drunken Jim Lahey inside them that just wants their trailer park to be a nice place to live. Jim Lahey is personable and in a weird way you just want him to find his peace. The only difference between Jim and us is a couple of drinks. Barb, Lucy, Sarah and all the other ladies on the show are doing an awesome job of keeping their characters fresh and interesting. I love Barbs opportunistic nature and how she bounces to whatever situation keeps the park open. She is almost always on top (besides her short stint with the caveman) and seems like a real person. JRoc- Jamie is getting better and better and I think he’s almost as valuable as Mr. Lahey as far as secondary characters go. Those are the main characters I wanted to comment on. As far as the season as a whole, I don’t want to beat the whole Clattenberg is missing dead horse but I think these guys are probably going to diminish the series to a real shit-show within a few years. They are probably like any other artist, tired of what made them famous originally, tired of TPB and are getting burnt out. That’s why they are marketing swearnet so aggressively. At first TPB was a mockumentary, and swearnet was a separate entity from the show where Mike, Robb and John would play themselves on swearnet stuff and even refer to or interact with the boys like they are separate people. Now they openly acknowledge that they are the actors playing those roles which removes some of the love I had for the characters before exposing myself to other stuff on swearnet. This completely destroys the documentary flare and is pretty fucking unprofuckingfessional if you ask me. Everything from swearnet panders to the 14-year-old inside of you. Even the cussing isn’t as creative and seems to be just there for shock value. That’s why I can’t get into anything swearnet despite their efforts to divert TPB fans to other swearnet stuff. I hate to say it but I think these guys have half their hearts in TPB now and all of their cocks in the dumpy, boring, seen-it-all-before, backpage gutter whore that is swearnet.

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