psa: having written this, I'm now aware that it is an uninteresting rant. Feel free to ignore.

For some context, I'm 25, married and haven't lived at home for about 7 years. I'm also the polar opposite to my mum in just about every way.

My mum buys a million "presents" that no one wants, and basically goes quantity over quality. Now that me and my older brother are working and can basically buy stuff we want, we are completely underwhelmed by opening the 3rd pair of individually wrapped day-of-the-week socks. She also puts clues on ALL the presents that you have to guess before you can open them, even if it is the 3rd packet of chocolate fingers you've opened... which is even more fun when you're gluten and lactose intolerant. And EVERYTHING is filmed on the camcorder. I wouldn't mind if it wasn't to the extent that my mum was more concerned about getting everything on film than she was about having a nice christmas. And she refuses to learn how to use the camcorder so she makes my dad do it, so he spends all day worrying whether it has enough memory/battery rather than having a nice day.

Also, we have to all get around the piano and sing chrismas carols on christmas eve. Which is nice but sucks for me because I used to do loads of singing in various choirs and was very, very good. Then I stopped when I went to uni and now I'm very, very average but I feel very, very shit, so I get anxiety attacks when I have to sing in front of anyone. So I do about 30 seconds of singing and then "have to go to the bathroom" which pisses off my mum because she still remembers me being a good singer.

Also, I'm literally allergic to my parents' house. I have a ton of allergies including dust mites. My mum is one small step away from being a compulsive hoarder and everything in the house is covered in dust. To make things worse, she denies it is the dust and says "oh it must be pollen from outside" even in December when the windows are all close and have been for months. It all means that I'm popping more pills than Gregory House and wheezing/coughing so much that I sounds like a lawnmower engine.

My little bro is turning 18 this year though, so we can all just get drunk. We have agreed to buy each other whiskey and put it one another's' stockings so we have a means of escape from the start of the day.