I wouldn’t want to attend a trans woman meet up with people who are presenting as a het-men either. If everyone else is presenting as women then I would want them to present as a woman as well otherwise they kill the vibes and the purpose of the meet-up.

I have no problem if they present male at a support-group but a support-group is different from a meet-up.

At the very least they could present as feminine men if they’re to cowardly to be themselves, even around other trans-women. Presenting fem should be like a requirement to meet-up.

Treating them like women despite presenting as men isn’t a huge problem for me, if they plan to eventually girl mode, however, if they plan on always presenting male with no plans to come out the closet then I would be hesitant to do so. Maybe I’m hypocritical