So I can give an update. I decided to push it and stay up through the day smoking more meth. My body is kind of tired at this point but my mind is waking up. I feel body ache like as if I am an old man twice as old as I am supposed to feel. That is always how day two feels to me. I get something to eat because eating is important and continue to jerk off on the Internet. Not literally meth has it given me a marathon fap session years. Just you know answering posts helping a friend try to buy Bitcoin etc...
By this time I am staring to get a buzz on although not entirely thre yet. I have smoked almost a gram, my pipe is too cloudy and it is difficult to smoke because I can't see the oil. So I decide to try and clean my pipe with the grill outside. I ended up charing the fuck out of my bowl because the wind kept pushing the flame around and couldn't even get the pipe hot enough to clean it. At this point I was like fuck I need to go to the store to butane for my pen torch. I went to the hardware store and the walk from the parking lot to the store was long. I felt twice my age still and needed to go slow.
The hardware store didn't have any butane so I bought an industrial sized propane tank with a torch nozzle head. This thing should last a long time it's pretty big. I get home and screw the torch on and light it up. Stick my pipe in the flame and instantly I burned all the char away making my bowl fresh and new looking.
I loaded up some shard in my freshly cleaned pipe and went to town on a few more bowls jerked off on the Internet for a bit more watched a tv show and decided it was getting late I should probably go to bed seeing I didn't sleep the night before. I was like I will smoke another bowl before I go to sleep. I contemplated on pushing it another night and getting to that silly delirious state of day three. I didn't however have anybody to talk shit with however so I decided against it and smoke one last bowl. By this point I smoked probably a gram and a half. That high I had been missing all day crept up on me. I was pinging with nothing to focus on now so I decided to focus on sleep. Dreaming in focus is amazing.
It was time for bed. I put my breathing mask on and released my self having to breath because now I had a machine pushing air down my throat giving me perfectly balanced chi Buddha breaths. I lay back into my memory foam mattress and the euphoria I had been missing finally hit me. I think to myself why does it take two days of smoking to finally get high when it's time to sleep. I let it go and feel like I am floating backwards into euphoric cloud. Everything is getting darker and darker and my vessel prepares itself to be blissfully emptied waiting to receive a message. When I am in a euphoric state half way between sleep and reality it is the best time for telepathic communications with aliens.
See I kind of miss my bipolar psychosis state where I have voices in my head and I kind of thought I could maybe use the meth to turn it back on. I lay in bed euphorically waiting for voice or someother extra sensory cross modal connection to launch my telepathic augmentd holo mind preciver into the spirit land or connect with earth but nothing. There where no voices or conversations to be herd. I tried to not let this get me down as I still felt euphoric and slowly drifted off to sleep.
That is good to know that I can't use a large amount of meth to induce psychosis I was kind of worried that I may had caused my bipolar by using too many drugs or the drugs caused my last psychotic break but now I know it was a natural environmental constraint put on me that my ego couldn't deal with and my mind created the opposite reality of my environment to compensate for the loss. so I am glad I was able to test this out I haven't had any shard since I got out of the hospital. I'm okay no delusional reality for me. I feel great I only slept maybe five hours but am still kind of buzzing I think I am pack another bowl and see if we can't get this euphoria to kick back and have a wonderful day.