One day, the Big Bad Californian came to the Tacoman's house. He knocked on the door and declared:
“Tacoman! Tacoman! Sell me your home! I have ample cash! I'll pay off your loan!”
The Tacoman replies, flashing a grin,
“Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin! This house is mine, so go get your own!”
The Californian does puff, “Then I'll buy, and I'll bid, and I'll purchase the rest of your 'hood!”
The Tacoman replies, “Well, this street is a dump, maybe you should!”
So the Californian did bid, and he bought, and now owns the whole street. He then went along an made it all sterile and “neat”. He reseeded the lawns, and towed off the cars. He even shut down the weed store, and tore down the bars. The Californian thought he was clever and sly, so he returned to the Tacoman's house, by and by.
“Tacoman! Tacoman! Sell me your sty! The traffic is horrible! The taxes sky high! I've improved the neighborhood and made it all good! It's time to sell, really you should!”
But the Tacoman knew of what the Californian had planned, it wasn't the house that he wanted, but the land! It was then the Tacoman knew just what he's say:
“Sure, you can have have it, for $900K!”
“You can't do that!” The Californian does bluster, “I'll get all the force I can muster! I'll condemn your home, I'll go to the city! Lower your price, or it won't be pretty!”
The Tacoman replies, “Maybe I was out of line.” He thinks for a moment, “How about $899?”
“I've dealt with your kind back at home! The solution there is to always rezone! I've come for your house, I tried to ask nicely, but you've gone and made it too pricey! Homeowners like you are just such a pain, I now have no choice but eminent domain!” The Californian did bellow; as he became more irate.
“Good luck,” says the Tacoman, “This is Washington State!”
So the Californian went and called his big city attorney, he even decided to pay for the journey. They petitioned the city, but the law was neglected, and their condemnation was swiftly rejected. But the lawyer had an alternative plan, albeit one with a longer time span, “If the old Tacoman demands a price so high, you could always just wait for the fella to die; he has no next of kin and we found no heirs, we might get lucky, and he'll just fall down the stairs.
So they bided their time, and then came the day, the Californian got the house anyway. He got what he wanted, and owned the whole block; all for a 4 point increase in stock.
I'm sure you wonder how this could be, especially here in the land of the free. Some may ponder, is there a god up in heaven? Well good news, all of this all happened in 2007.