Disclaimer: This comment is kinda long lol
My mans got me out of a dark place when I found him in 2019. He helped me become and stay a very happy person for over a year. Unfortunately, I got back in the dark in June 2020 when I started excessively worrying about him dying. I started worrying due to him being in a dangerous situation in the manga that he’s in.
The worst part is that the manga posts a new chapter either once a week or once every two weeks, so all that waiting has made the past 9 months even worse. This scary arc in the manga has been going on for way too long. My anxiety and excessive worrying eventually turned into depression. I felt like everyday I was getting one day closer to my special someone’s upcoming death. I felt like I was impatiently waiting for the worst day of my life to come.
On September 26th, 2020, I watched the love of my life get stabbed by a villain. The manga panel of him getting stabbed caused me to have a panic attack. The image is so disturbing to me and I still think about it today. What happened was the villain stabbed him using his disgusting powers. He used long, sharp, “needles” from his hand to stab two holes in my baby’s arm and one larger hole in his stomach. I like to say that watching him get stabbed was my first heartbreak. Seeing that panel truly broke my heart, after all.
After September 26th, my depression got a lot worse. I went days without showering, slept in on weekends till 3 or 4 pm, cried almost every day, constantly isolated myself from my family, and didn’t eat as much during the day due to rarely feeling hungry. Fortunately, I eventually decided to open up to my dad, brother, and therapist about my mental health. Dealing with my depression and anxiety has been slightly easier after opening up to them.
Fast forward to present day, my baby is (somehow) still alive and is recovering in the hospital. I’m still worried about him dying though since his injuries were so bad, but now I’m more worried about his mental health since he’s upset and worried about how other characters in the story are doing after going through the dangerous situation. And I still have depression of course. I find it interesting how I’m worried about my mans mental health when I literally have depression right now (lol).
When it comes to my mental health problems, I have depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts (about the chapter where my baby got stabbed/what his death might look like), and possibly have PTSD since I’m traumatized from watching him get hurt and have reoccurring flashbacks of the chapter he got stabbed in.
I apologize for how long this comment is, I didn’t expect to write this much. I just felt like sharing my story about my mental health/how much a stupid villains actions have impacted it. Hopefully both me and my special someone will be doing better (both mentally and physically) someday. This man will forever and always have a special place in my heart, no matter what happens next.