Actually, y'know what, I'm just gonna rub it in. I care about art and you asked for it. Answer some pointed but rhetorical questions using what you already know. Some Shakespeare related, some not:

Use the Merchant of Venice to account for the theater as a place of ritualized sacrifice- how/where does irony function in the play? Is it liminal between structure and theme, or not? In Freud’s reading of Merchant- the three caskets are symbolic of what? Saussure/Jakobson’s ________ and _________ are to Freud’s __________ and _____? Explain ‘Aura’ using Benjamin- how do you pronounce Benjamin’s name? In The Winter’s Tale which character(s) are most significant of a materialist ethic, in contrast- who subscribes to idealism? Identify instances in the play, and its overall structure in accounting for art and nature. What scenes in The Tempest and Winter’s Tale show nature as a democratizing force, and how? What’s a performative speech act, and how do Derrida and Austin differ in accounting for them? What mode of criticism is most apropos for Timon of Athens? Stanley Fish promoted ___ response criticism? What’s a phatic expression? Steven Greenblatt is associated with what kind of historicism? Laura Mulvey is to bell hooks (why isn’t the latter name capitalized?), as Judith Butler is to Martha __________. What is bricolage? Relate Derridian citation to Adorno’s claim that pseudoindividuality promotes conformity? Who is Imogen and what genre of play is Cymbeline? How does Oscar Wilde make use of Perdita and Florizel? What's the Precession of Simulacra and what relatively modern film is pointedly diagnostic of it? Who says ‘Cry to it Nuncle!’ and in what play? Use Lacan to discuss the id, ego and displacement- how does he differ from Freud, and what are his major semiotic claims?

Can you answer those questions? A single one even? No? Extraordinary claims call for extraordinary evidence- and you don’t even possess the tools to create an argument. So keep your cunt mouth shut about where Shakespeare ranks as an artist. Goodbye.