I'm still really raw and upset about the PTD drop. I understand that some people didn't like it, and that's fine. There are plenty of BTS songs that I do not like. The problem is that people were downright vicious about it. I read some of the most vile and hateful things I've ever read about BTS and ARMY, and the most painful part was that it was other armys saying it, not even antis.

I started liking BTS in January, so Butter/PTD was my first comeback. I was so, so, so excited to get up early the day it dropped and grab it from Target as soon as they opened. All of that excitement was destroyed the morning of the drop as I read through all of the ugly things people were saying. Up until then, I always assumed haters who talked about how toxic/hateful army was were just being haters, but for the first time I glimpsed just how negative this fandom can be. It was like being hit with a bucket of cold water, and I just feel really sad that my first comeback is always going to be stained with those negative memories. I know it's been a minute and I don't want to restart a dead argument, but I just wanted to put it into words.