Tidbits from Hannahs book

I tried replying above but for some reason I can't, so I'm replying to wafflehouse here.

I think he was always going to "become abstinent" in the end, when he was older and not interested in playing the field, and ready to marry his virgin. He is just returning to his roots because he was raised this way, but a lot of these men think it's ok for men to go out and sow their wild oats and return, but not for women. I was raised in this double standard, so I know how this generally goes- he purposely enjoyed himself for years, and now that he's older and kind of weathered looking and not as interested in playing the field (and it's not so hard to wait), he found himself a much younger wife who is virginal and everyone in the family thinks it's wonderful he's returned to his faith and upbringing and they will give her credit as being the woman to bring him back, but really if she wasn't around, he would have sought out another virgin.

My family who hail from their same region are the same way- the men in their 30s who have "sown their wild oats" with less worth women return to marry the very young virgins who overlook his history and feel like a princess to be chosen. I don't care that he did his thing, or married her in any of these cases- what bugs me is the women he dated and in the back of his mind knew he was never going to end up with (both with Ben and the men I know irl)... their moms encourage them to drop the girls they live with or who have dated a lot, and return home to marry a "nice girl" who was "raised right", and the men happily do. I feel sorry for the women they leave behind who now feel jaded and like their time was wasted. I hate double standards.

Also, she wasn't hot on social media. At the time, she had about 11 followers and 20 posts up, and mosts of her posts were of her in her late teens because she barely posted. I think they have degrees of connection and he found her through people they both knew (clicking on their followers or commenters or whatever), so he had an idea she was likely waiting.

There age different doesn't bother men too much (but he does look a LOT older than her), because they are both adults. Her naivety and basically being a kid to her parents, and now a kid to him (she seems to have little autonomy and cares a lot about pleasing her parents and anyone in authority) is what seems off, but since that may not actually be the case (maybe in real life she's very confident and in charge and they just come across the opposite online), I don't care about that either. It's just the darned double standard that bugs me.

/r/thebachelor Thread Parent