I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you had such a nerve-wracking experience with your friend.

Giving space makes a lot of sense. I haven't experienced loss personally, but a number of my friends and relatives have, and their experiences made it really obvious that for the most part, American society doesn't have the space or inclination to acknowledge loss or miscarriage. It's a taboo topic, and grief and loss make people uncomfortable because they aren't talked about often, so then people just want to gloss over it or pretend it never happened, never mention it, never acknowledge it. Which puts the burden of protecting your own feelings squarely on the people who are in the most pain, which is very unfair. It reminds me, in a much less sad way of course, of the way people who identify as introverts are expected to carve out their own space and protect their own boundaries, but extroverts are not usually taught to or expected to make allowances or adjustments for the people in their life who need more quiet time, etc. :/