Do you mind if I ask what kind of religious or spiritual background you have? I feel like a lot of people who have these profound experiences on mushrooms and lsd all have some kind of spiritual background that allows them to feel these things when on a trip.

A main reason why I am asking is that I took mushrooms for the third time ever Saturday, and it was the first time I had anything more than a body high and very slight visuals. The first two times were with 1.5 and 2.5 grams respectively, and they barely did anything. Physically, both trips felt like I was super drunk with some tingling in the lips, buzzing in the body and uncoordinated walking. This Saturday I took 4 grams and I had the same physical feeling along with intense closed eye visuals that kept changing colors and I saw lines and patters with weird runic letters every here. There was also a trace of these visuals everywhere when I opened my eyes and my sense of scale/depth was off considerably. I also saw my face move when looking in the mirror, which kind of weirded me out a bit. About two hours into the trip the weird runic letters transformed into creepy looking faces with big round yellow eyes filled with concentric circles, but they didn't frighten me. I tried to listen to music, but I found that anything with lyrics didn't work, and most of the classical music I had downloaded was actually too fast. I need extremely mellow music for next time.

All in all it was an interesting and fun experience but I didn't get any deeper understanding out of it, which sucks because the main reason I tried doing mushrooms in the first place was to benefit from the anti depressant and life changing properties that I have read about them, though I fear that my atheistic and staunchly anti-spiritual mindset is working against me here. I think I also have a very high tolerance as from everything that I've read, 4g should have done a lot more than that to me, and my 1.5 and 2.5g trips did barely anything.