I don’t want to post, so I’ll comment, instead…

DAE have an unrealistic dream of the future that is so far removed from oneself, from one’s own reality, that it feels safe enough, every once in a while, to consider?

It’s not even me, in those future imaginings - it’s just a hazy projection. A someone, somewhere, not even fully fleshed out. Sexless, nameless, faceless; - I can see through their eyes, but I have never seen them because they don’t exist, though the place where they could be does, and it is such a beautiful place that the conception of it conjures up in me this odd, aching sensation deep in my chest; in my lungs.

A feeling as if I’d run as hard as I could for too long with no rest, with no food, with no shelter, and eventually, inevitably, had collapsed from the exhausting totality of it all, - from running the gauntlet.

And there, lying in the dirt, with my body shaking and too cold and too hot, numb, weak, finished; and with the full and awful knowledge that I had always already lost, - raising my eyes and blinking up into the sky, and seeing just how far away everything always was, and always will be, and has always ever been, and coming to a sort of bittersweet acceptance of the truth of that. A bone-weary, unspeaking peace in the face of the immutable.