Oh shit cheif! I guess you got me there. You know one thing I learned from the internet is to not fight fire with fire. You just get more fire.
I just want to say that I have literally no idea how any of this conversation started. I screencapped most of it so maybe I'll be able to make some sort of connection, make some sort of sense, but I know that you will never be able to. From the get go you told me how insane you are and my dude... I'm just not that crazy.
You have clearly already seen your beginning and your end because of the choices you have made. You have gone so far as to have those choices bleed into your life in almost every single outcome. This is all you can see because you never even tried to do anything better. You are literally living within your own personal hell that you have created. I wish I could help you.