TLDR at the end. I am realizing that I should have put this into the actual post maybe. So I am living in a student dorm where a lot of people live that moved to this country to study. I am relatively tall and have attractive features BUT I have always been kinda fat. I have beautiful eyes, a nice deep voice, I can talk to women (although I usually tend to talk too much). BUT I was about 120-125kg with 1,98m. Now I am at 102kg.
I got into this completely random conversation with a Chinese girl at my dorm and she seemed to like me first but the conversation became weird over time. I thought I have said something off-putting (as always after talking too much or too long), so I said "fuck it" to myself and decided to ask if she wanted to eat lunch together that week. Now, you have to know. I had 0 interest in Chinese women as I never felt attracted to the typical Chinese body and I wasn't looking for sex but just new people to meet. I don't think I have ever looked for Asian women in porn in general.
After sharing the conversation I had with other people, they all agreed that she is interested in dating me. Usually, this would trigger my anxiety and make me scared of making a mistake due to obvious reasons but in this case I didn't think about it and just kept telling myself "let's see where this goes". Well, it did go (in) and I could tell by myself that my hip movements had to be completely wrong but the sex turned out fine. We were both satisfied and decided to keep meeting each other. I am pretty sure that she shared our experience with her girls because they started approaching me in different ways. They started giggling and whispering to each other when they saw me (I don't even understand Chinese but people still tend to whisper when talking about certain stuff and I am not stupid).
I became insecure because of it and it made me angry so I talked to my new Chinese friend about the issue and she said that it's the opposite of what I am thinking. She only talked about me in positive ways and would never make fun of someone like that. I couldn't believe her and she showed me her messages about me and we put it into a translator. This gave me a huge confidence boost and now everything seemed like a playground.
I am not sure if this is the point where I should stop or continue. If you need more details or I should elaborate more on my thoughts, just ask. Sorry if I worded something incorrectly. English isn't my native tongue.
TLDR: have always been attractive and knowledgeable about what women like but it was hidden under fat and made me insecure. Not having sex led to me not getting any sex. Breaking the cycle once changed everything.