Thank you. I told you I would get serious. I had to. I had the hunger that only the word of God could satisfy. I had to get serious with myself and put in the work. I had to really learn what a mental diet was. I thought it was just affirming for what I want so no other thoughts could enter my head. I wasn't doing a damn thing about the beliefs telling me no. I was making it all about my desire and not about myself. I wasn't my own source.

I'm also starting to really grasp the concept of living in the end and knowing exactly what that is. I am God and all things are made through me. Every single memory I have. Every single moment in time that has come to pass or that I can conceive of already exists. It exists now. I used to look upon my memories with longing, but I now see them as not of the past but still existing now. Therefore all my supposed future events exist now as well. Where do they exist. In the imagination. In God. Therefore my hunger can finally be satiated. I am my own source.

I remember listening to the lecture about the pearl of great price. I immediately set out to purchase it myself. It really clicked when I read the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant, in search of fine pearls. Who finding one pearl of great value went and sold all that he had and bought it. Well I remember where I was told the kingdom of heaven is. The kingdom is in me. I am the pearl of great price.