Honestly, expecting several times a day contact is too much. I get you're anxious, and we all feel insecure in friendships from time to time, but you are being clingy. It's not unusual to not hear from friends for weeks. People have stuff to take care of. Also, I don't know if you're mentioning that you've seen her online or paid attention to her online habits but if you have, you should stop that. No-one likes to feel like they're being tracked or analysed.

When someone is depressed, the last thing they feel up to doing is getting into a "state of the relationship" talk. She has already signalled to you that she is drained and sometimes needs to retreat, but you are asking labour in the form of wanting her to explain that every time? As far as I'm concerned she has already communicated clearly. Why do you need it constantly reiterated?