Part of the conundrum here is that he's receptive in other areas. He happily takes and applies my feedback in the bedroom, he knows I dislike eating mid-day so he focuses his nicer meals on our dinners, he use to shut down on our serious convos where decisions needed to be made but with help he's been able to quell his fight/flight response. He's super thoughtful in ways like encouraging my desire to learn to draw by gifting me a portrait drawing course, giving me a book on gardening (I'm an avid gardener), and keeping a stash of my favorite chocolates in his place at all times. He always links me interesting lectures by my favorite speakers and professors, books and movies I may like, and dishes for me to try.

He's a genuinely good guy. I really adore so much about him, and try to do a lot to show how much I value him. It seems so pathetic to say all of those things aren't enough without the capacity to shoot the shit. It's also baffling that we're not able to make headway on a more mutually satisfying communication style.