Hey. Most of the changes i want to suggest to you will be dialogue, but i have some other suggestions for some elements of the map as well that i will include at the end. A lot of the dialogue was a little clunky and did not sound like what someone would say naturally, but english is not your first language so thats understandable. I will show my dialogue changes in bold or strikethrough, and try to explain them in [brackets].
"Looks like our eggheads opened a portal to hell or something.." [Missed a word]
"And Now these bastards are eating my men!" [Extra word]
"I've hid some stuff under the reactor labs roof.." [Hided is not a word]
"Don't think we're getting any help.." [Keep present tense]
"We were so close.. to success.." ['to success' is implied]
"But everythings gone to hell.."" [Keep past tense]
"The mutation is unstoppable, but this experiment must be completed!" [Combine these two into one message, and extend its time shown by a couple seconds so it can be fully read.]
"Use these coordinates to locate the power cores.. [shorter and more detailed for the player]
"I feel my mind slipping...tell my family I-AAH@#$" [The original line sounds very proper and calm, not like the man is scared and dying. This is just a suggestion that sounds creepy.]
"While the Delta Core protection case is under repair, i've installed a temporary laser grid." [Again I would combine these into one sentence and lengthen the message a couple seconds. Also removed 'temporary', it is implied]
"It's kinda unstable, so reserve lasers are always ready." [Comma]
"Just don't touch the laser emitters!" [Changed 'and' to 'just' to relate it to the last message more. Missed a word 'the']
"I don't want to fix them again and clean up your blood!" [Makes more sense]
[I missed the dialogue on the second level with the toxic stream, and i couldnt go back to read it. I will message you seperately later about that particular dialogue.]
"The ceiling rails need repair." [Added 'the']
"A new plasma cutter 9000 with argent amplifiers will be delivered to your station." [Makes more sense]
"You know how to assemble it" ['it' because the entire cutter assembly is one object]
"And be careful not to damage Beta Core or we'll all become Lazarus lab rats." [Combine to one large message again and extend a couple seconds]
"Making sacrifices near the argent engine was a terrible idea." [Missed 'the', changed the end to sound more like a mature scientist]
"because Now we lost Alpha Core!" [Sentences starting with 'because' sound weird]
"And the only way to locate it is to make more sacrifices!" [changed the wording a little and combined into one message.]
"I hate this job." [Added 'I']
All these changes are just what sounds good to my ear as I am a native english speaker. You dont have to use them if you dont want to, but they will make it sound more realistic. Here are some suggestions for the levels themselves:
Objectives! You should include objectives for each room that gives the player a vague idea of what they are supposed to do without giving away the puzzle. I would activate them after the player reads the reports and deactivate when they complete the puzzle.
Level 1 could be Bypass the laser grid
Level 2 could be Find all 4 key cards
Level 3 could be Assemble the cutter with secondary objective Find all 4 pieces
Level 4 could be Start the argent engine or Find the power core if you want to be vague.
These objectives paired with the reports will help the player figure out what the puzzle is on their own.
Level 1: I actually like this puzzle, but the old dialogue did not make it clear that the laser emitters were the main focus of the puzzle. This is why I added CAPS in my dialogue revision. Also, you should move the emitters or the protection case slightly so that its easier to shoot at the emitters from inside the lasers. I almost had to be touching the lasers to be able to see the emitters and get back out. Overall good level.
Level 2: For a while on this level I had no idea you were supposed to jump into the toxic, because i assumed that would kill you instantly. I dont know if thats a good thing or bad thing, but i wasted a lot of time looking down into the river trying to see the cards, or see if there were platforms down there. I think you could make the smoke clouds a little more obvious to fix this, because right now they blend into the sludge too much and look like somewhere you DONT need to go. Overall good puzzle ideas in this one too.
Level 3: There is a bug on this level. If i end up running into the laser after i turn it on, i will die and when i respawn the timed survival wave of enemies will be spawning on my next life while collecting pieces again, including the Hell Knight. They never stop.
This level is also good, however i think it needs to be more clear that you need to search the room for 4 total pieces of the cutter. I originally had no idea what to do after unpacking the box, and eventually stumbled on a piece that said i could pick it up. After that i assumed there were more pieces but I had no idea how many. The objectives would help this problem.
Level 4: I'll be honest, this level was a little frustrating. The dialogue was kinda vague in saying "making sacrifices" near the argent engine. Where i'm from, saying "make sacrifices" can mean killing yourself, leaving something behind, or killing something else. Maybe if you change this to "sacrificing demons" near the argent engine it would be a little more clear.
Also it was unclear if i needed to be near the engine when i killed the demon, or if the demon had to die near the engine and i could be anywhere in the room.
Optional: The sound that plays when you kill something near the engine could start low and slowly increase in pitch as you kill more demons to signal to the player that they are doing something right (sound) and making progress (pitch). When i did it i had no idea how many demons i had to kill, though i did notice the red smoke signals appearing so i just kept going.
Sadly I ended up rage quitting on the final arena with the baron. I would shoot the baron a few times, he would go invincible for a minute timer, then i'd have the chance to shoot him again a couple times, then somewhere around the third time i would always die. It was just too tedious sitting through those timers every time i died because both me and the demon couldnt die during the timers. Maybe shorten the timers to 30 seconds or maybe less? I just dont see the point of the timer sections because i could stand there not moving and the demon would do almost no damage. I still dont know whats the deal with the green cubes that turn red, but i assume if i would have beat 4 rounds of those timers they would all be red and i could shoot them to win? If you fix that baron arena and make it more clear on what your supposed to do in there it would be a great final level. I like how the arena looks right now too.
Of course, all of this is optional. You could tell me to fuck off and shove my ideas somewhere special if you want :] But If you decide to follow any of what I wrote here, let me know. Then send me a link to the level, I'd really love to play it again once it updates. If you have any thoughts or questions message me as well. Good job!