I've had sex before and while I don't desire it myself, I can see why there are sex favorable aces. But I just don't understand how you can be sex averse but into kinks, specifically BDSM.

I'm uncomfortable with it because of the implications: if you're into it as a sex thing then most of the time, it's limited to sex. If there's no sexual gratification connected to it, what else does it mean other than you feel good when you have control over and hurt other people? This is a genuine question, not rhetorical. I mean it's just as uncomfortable to me when allosexual people take their BDSM into everyday life. What is the synergy OP mentions that's supposed to be desirable here? A for-real slave dynamic?