Just as you are deliberately using the word “party” to minimize the importance of a wedding, I could use other phrases that sum up why someone would want to spend money on this event. “Family-creating event” is one that comes to mind. If you believe, as I do, that a wedding is bringing together two families, then you would make a bunch of decisions accordingly that add to more cost. Of course, don’t do this if you can’t afford it, duh, but also don’t scorn it if you believe that it’s just the union of two individuals.

• Inviting a lot of family- entire extended families AND their kids.
• Feeding them all several times- lunch before the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, and lunch the day after.
• Paying for family’s accommodation who can’t afford to stay in a hotel.
• Paying for a second photographer so they can take lots of pictures of guests, not just the couple.

Etc.

In my culture, this is an event that is meant to create memories and bonds between families. So we spend accordingly. My dad’s brother knows my mom’s brother really well, for example, because they were so closely involved in planning my parents wedding. And it has made a huge difference in my life as their kids knowing both sides of the family know and like each other. Of course, you could accomplish that without a wedding, but it’s one of the easiest ways to do so.

It’s a memory, an occasion. Not just a “party.”