I believe she fantasizes about middle school because she has a sick Lolita fantasy. Not only has she admitted that, but I think it goes deeper than a fetish. I think she constantly thinks about being a young girl being abused by a authoritative figure. She sees that now, being 34 and a mother with a dying you tube career who is “washed up”. The only thing that makes her happy is sexual attention/relevance. She had MB in hopes she could go a different direction in her career (Mommy Vlogger). Since that didn’t work, she’s panicking. I know we don’t see how she’s like in person. BUT you can’t tell me a new mother who purposely drives hours away in LA traffic just for food like pasta just to get 30-50k views is happy in her home life. She’s constantly looking for any excuse to leave to zone out on the ride there. It seems like every single day. She wants another one in hopes something will finally fill the huge missing hole in her life. She’s always looking for her next fix.