I appreciate the help. I rewrote it as this
I'm required to use a certain formula that includes an although statement at the beginning as well.
"Although the United States Government is prohibited from endorsing religion, it is paramount that Separation of Church and State remains prevalent so that the government cannot interfere with the essential freedom of participating in a religious activity guaranteed under the First Amendment."
I'm basically saying my point of view (pro separation of church and state) while showing my main reasoning (1st amendment). I know it can be better and I will continue to work on it. I like how yours is split into two sentences so its not a long run-off that tries to force all your information into one sentence. Ill try and incorporate that into my thesis.
Here is my entire intro if it helps you get a better scope of what the papers going to be about.
In 1791, the First Amendment to the United States Constitution was adopted, granting all American citizens freedom of speech, the right to peacefully assemble, and most importantly, the right to freely practice the religion of their choice, without interference from Congress or any other law-making legislature. About a decade later, during his first term as President of the United States, Thomas Jefferson addressed the issue of freedom of religion in a letter to the Danbury Baptist Association, a religious minority group from New England. In full support of the First Amendment, Jefferson, unlike his predecessors, firmly took a stance on the subject of religion, stating that “legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.” To this day, the term “Separation of Church and State” is still in use, and is the basis for freedom of religion in the United States. With Christianity playing a major role in today’s society, from Christmas carols to ………, now, more than ever, the thought of adopting a national religion comes into question. Although the United States Government is prohibited from endorsing religion, it is paramount that Separation of Church and State remains prevalent so that the government cannot interfere with the essential freedom of participating in a religious activity guaranteed under the First Amendment.