wear baggy clothes, I don't buy new things because I don't look good anyway (why put a pig in a dress, right?), and I don't like going out in public and people having to see me, so I don't really have friends. I'm not even in shape to give my husband a baby for God's sake.
GRRRRR. I feel like there's a tiny n-mom on your shoulder sneaking negative thoughts into your brain through your ear, and I just want to reach through the screen and flick her away! I know there's no magical thing I can say to make this negative self-talk stop, but I hope you know that I do not think you are a pig regardless of what you weigh, and I don't think you're failing your husband by not "giving" him a baby. You are much more than what your body looks like or what it can do. In the end, the only thing that really matters, body-wise, is that you are comfortable and healthy. If you know that you are uncomfortable and unhealthy right now, then I support your effort to change that. But I absolutely hate the way you talk about yourself, because it makes me sad and also very angry because I know that people don't talk to themselves that way with no causation.
I've been doing yoga for the last 4 months or so and I can't recommend it enough. And if you're not flexible don't worry, because I'm not either and it doesn't matter. You just do as much as you can and start at the beginner level - you'll probably gain some flexibility as you go, but it's not a requirement at all. Yoga has impacted my physical health as well as my mental health. Also, I'm 99% sure that it is the reason my periods have stabilized after years of irregularity. Beginners yoga might not burn through calories like running would, but it's still exercise and it's very relaxing, helps with posture and breathing, and can help you work through your troubles. It is also very energizing. Okay, I could say more but I don't want to be one of those obnoxious people who won't shut up about yoga and get on your nerves. :) But ask questions if you want to, I'd be happy to try to answer.
I too struggle with overeating, and I have to admit that I still don't know how to harness it. I'm an emotional eater, and it doesn't help that I live with my SO who is naturally very thin and eats loads of junk food. But I have tried to move to healthier choices recently, and had a talk with my SO and said that I desperately need the junk out of our apartment (or at least most of it). Since January we've made some changes - no more red meat, complex carbs only, and vegetables at every meal. And every morning I've been making a green smoothie with dandelion root tea and I think I've lost some bloat and maybe a couple of pounds from this alone. But even if it did nothing I think I'd still drink it because it's delicious. The only thing I really indulge on now is a square of the dark chocolate that SO and I keep around. Oh, and occasionally a very sugary drink from Starbucks. :/ But hey, baby steps.
I think if you can find things that you are truly enthusiastic about, you'll stick with them and be a happier person. If you make yourself do exercise you hate, you'll be unhappy and you might quit. And if you make yourself adhere to a super strict diet, same thing. But if you find something you really love - like me and my yoga and green smoothie - you'll want to keep doing it and even if you skip a day you'll find yourself coming back.