Elder Scrolls: The Return of the C0DA
It was a cold day in Neloth's Shrooms. On the day his Palace was attacked with milltary force, Nerevarine-sans son had been sleeping untill 7 am. Normally he got up at 4 to do his homework, because Nerevarine-san had raised him as a good boyafter his mother died in mysterious circumstances all those years ago.
Everyone else was already up.
Wiese-san, Nerevarine-san's daughter, was already making them all fried breakfirst with syrup. She was dressed in her favorate red,sharp shirt (nothing under) and thong. Her curves glisted softly in the light of the morning.
Wiese-san was an expert bio-chemist, her parents were proud. She was going to a school for gifted and thats all that mattered to them.
They didnt mind that she was a bit wild at times.
At 11, she now knew shitloads of langerages, four ancient , 4 computer and 3 sign langerages. She found it easy, and learnt them with her dad together.
By now, Nerevarine-san was now up and standing on the porch with his shirt off. He stared out over the wide desert landscape, he was handsome in a rugged kinda way. Once, long ago, he was ranked one of the best special forces soldiers in the world. He was no longer a soldier, and now lived a quite life treasure hunting. He was troubled by a newspaper artical his read a few days ago, that mentioned that someone from Neloth's Shrooms was killed in a massive war . His was one of the few people that knew that that shouldnt happen, because of a magic spell he cast with C0DA a few years ago. The C0DA was now hidden in his garrage. Nerevarine-san was disturbed from his deep thinking by Wiese-san tugging on his shirt. "Father! Father! Look!". Wiese-san pointed urgently at the horizon. "Frell!" Para-ninjas Hundreds of them! They were coming straight at his house. He ran inside and bolted the bullet proof front door. He woke his son up, and told everyone to run out the back. They woke their pilot, who happened to be sleeping in the next room.
"Quick! Start the Hot air-balloon! We are under attack!" "OMG" He said as Fargoth-san run out. Naked. As Normal. He ran back in with his helmit. "Holy Shit!". Nerevarine-san, meanwhile, triggered an explosion around his garrage in order to hide his precious C0DA. The rocks fell and burried it totaly secretly so no one would find it. (None of the soliders heard the explosion as they were looking the other way) Meanwhile, the invading force drew closer. Nerevarine-san and his family ran to the hanger, Wiese-san leading the way with her Club They dodged the soldiers as they ran, ducking and diving between the gunfire. "Dont worry! We are almost there!". They dived into their escape vechile, guns blazing. Their was a soldier already there, but Wiese-san whackd him. "Good job!" Nerevarine-san said, as he pushed him out. They started up, and zoomed off, the invading force vanishing into the distance. "Did you get the secret message?" "Yes, my good friend Todd Howard-san told me that Michael Kirkbride-san was behind this!". "We gota deal with this as a family, else we can never live in piece". So they joined onwards, their enemy's in hot pursuit!
Nerevarine stopped and gazed into space. Oh no. It was happening; He couldn't help thinking about Todd Howard again. He tried not too. Desperate to avoid the thoughts that could not be, no, - would not be- held back. But like dozens of unstoppable Henchmens they came creeping forward till they filled His brain;
Todd Howards smile shined like Gold, as impressive as a Earth, it filled the Iggloo and Nerevarine was helplessly but willingly absorbed into them.
Todd Howards eyes were like Eyeballs.If you rolled them they would go quite far.
Todd Howards legs were like a Lamppost. Straight and tight.
Todd Howards chest was like a Minionss. Powerful and impossible to ignore.
How could Nerevarine not be helpless in the face of that?.
Interlude:
And then, at the worst possible moment. It happened. Again. Nerevarine gazed at Todd Howard. It was impossible to resist this time. Like a Hangglider Nerevarine was pulled towards Todd Howard. It was a like Siege in a war. It was a like a Throwing knifes piercing through His heart. It was a like magnets. There was No resisting. No mercy. No Pants. No longer anything else mattered.
Todd Howard looked shocked and then...and then...not shocked. He had known all along. Of course. How could Nerevarine have been so stupid? Those long looks at eachother,the times they gazed at the stars together, the candle lit dinners. The steamy showers.. It wasn't just friendship. It never was. It was more and Todd Howard had known all along. "I knew" Todd Howard said. "oh" Nerevarine said, realizing all this for the first time. But there was more...Todd Howard wasn't pulling away. He was pushing tighter. Holding Nerevarine like a wild Wolf. At some point their clothes came off. They got ripped in the process of the pashioning He didn't care. This is what he had needed for so long. too long. Century. maybe more. But this was now now. Nerevarine and Todd Howard together at last! They canoddled like lovers and made love with their naughty bits. They took it in turns inserting their bits into eachother. Nerevarine inserted his bit into Todd Howard. Then Todd Howard inserted his bit into Nerevarine. They repeated this a few times. Nerevarine never knew CHIM could be used for THAT!
Afterwards (when they had finished cleaning their bits)they looked at eachother longingly and had a cigarette. But they knew they must leave. They didn't want anyone to see.
Nerevarine took one last look at Todd Howard. "Goodbye my snuggly one" "Love you too, my one and only Nerevarine"
And this is where the story ends...
It has come... to my attention... that some readers... don't like my art. They say that it's...it's all anti-semetic (sxuz me, but jews are like that!) and racist (I had a black classmate in my class once and he was really stupid lol) and anatomicly impossible (FWHYI they all do Yoga, and thats totaly possible). That hurts me a lot. Really... a lot. Do u know how long it takes me to write my stories? Do u think I like it being stuck at home with nothing to do but writing my soul into my art? My boyfriend broke up w/ me and I'm sad because of all the stupid Enlgihs assignments I got (who needz it anyways, I speak it lol)
Writing is the only thing that makes me happy, but if that isn't good enough for u people, then I'm going to call it quits! Yes, that's righr! I won't finish this story! Suck it Internet! HAPPY NOW?!!!!
I want to thank QueenRickman34 and Pinkyjack for beta reading, but I... I... I... just can't take it anymore. Farewell internet. I'll never trust you again!