Not so much scars, just literally thicker skin in the area of harm. In my case it's not immediately noticeable, so lucky I guess.

Looking at my scars makes me depressed instantly, and I really can't find a way to cope.

You've already stopped doing it which is a huge step. In my case I did relapse so I'm probably not the best person to comment on this.

Anyone who sees my arms or thighs, and knows what self-harm is, immediately knows what I did.

Most people who know about self-harm, know it because they've done it themselves or they know someone who's done it. They will probably be a lot more understanding than you think.

It's the people who don't know what it is, and who haven't had any experience with it, who might ask insensitive questions. But even these people are often genuinely curious and want to help once they find out what it is.

Very few people are deliberately insensitive or mean spirited - and if they are, cut them out. You don't need those kinds of people in your life.

Just wondering how to stop hating myself because of my scars and being consumed by my past circumstances and mistakes.

Allow yourself to grieve. You are losing a big part of your past - yes it's a good thing to lose it - but it's probably similar to how people feel when they lose something good as well. Just because what was lost is harmful doesn't mean that you shouldn't grieve for it. That's how I see it anyway.