Oh no same. This goes back to being a teenager and seeing a woman breast feeding in public for the first time. It just grosses me out and I’m sorry to have to put it that way. I fully recognize it’s a natural and totally normal thing to do. As an older and wiser woman I understand this is my problem not the woman breast feeding in public’s problem and I’d never in a million years suggest she cover up...

But it really grosses me out and always has. Pumping too. I feel like it will dehumanize me into some kind of cow. I’m trying to be open minded. I’d like to give it a try. I feel like regardless of the “fed is best” mentality I see more and more often the expectation is still there that I should at least try. I’ve tried finding more info on this and there’s a phenomenon of aversion to breast feeding post partum (I forget the name) but I’ve yet to find anything on it happening well before you’re even pregnant. All I ever find are posts where everyone goes “wElL wHeN iTs yOuRs iTs DiFfErEnT!!!” like that helps at all.

I’m terrified of AFTER delivery when some nurse is trying to teach me what to do and my husband is there and I feel just embarrassed and skittish. Would I be rude to ask my husband to leave? The nurse to leave? It reminds me of going through puberty and how inanely private I was about all of it. Figured out what to do with a tampon by reading the instructions in the box and I did not want to discuss it or bras or hair growth with aaanyone.

Agh. Sorry. You are absolutely not alone.