Ugh, the amount of times I offered myself up to the LO, and he either completely shot me down, wanted something super inappropriate (my boundaries were NEVER respected) or he just flat out ignored me.

The things that are working for me right now, are zero contact and focussing on his bad traits. He has weird teeth (I do too, but his are weirder and thank fuck I’m shallow), he’s not really my type and he has a couple of personality traits that rub me the wrong way.

Every single time I think about him, I remind myself of those things, and every time, it goes down a little bit more. It used to feel like my entire body was into this thing. Now there’s just a vague underbelly feeling now and then.

For me, I think it would have been much worse if we had gone all the way. Or maybe it would have cured it, idk.