Hi- first off, I would like to say how sorry I am that you went through all this. It sucks. I know, because I went through similar, including foster ‘care’.

Here’s my take (its not popular): there is a sex abuse industry out there. There is HUGE bucks involved, and certain people are raking it in. In the past, they invented ‘repressed memories’ made a ton of money, jailed innocent people, ripped families apart. And that kinda faded away.

Then there was a moral panic about ‘satanic rituals’ in daycare. And THAT kinda faded away.

I am NOT saying what you went through is not real. Its VERY VERY real.

What is not so real, is the ‘destroyed life’ and ‘hopeless future’ that some would have us believe. That’s BULLSHIT. The sex abuse industry glorifies victimhood. It’s in their best interest to do so.

Sexuality is complex, and you will find research to support any position you take. Whether that’s porn is helpful or harmful or that humans are naturally monogamous/polygamous/homosexual or whatever. You name it, I can find you something to confirm what you want to believe.

But here’s one that supports what I believe. Counselling is harmful and retraumatizes

What I recommend: Don’t think of yourself as a victim. Don’t glorify yourself as a survivor (and judging by your post, you don’t. Which is why I am posting this). You don’t need to stick any kind of label on yourself, or your sexuality.

Find your own way, and don’t let the sex abuse industry tell you what you are, or aren’t. You had a bad break, as I did, and as many millions of others did.

You are awesome. Life is short. Don't go through life looking backwards.

TL:DR don’t believe the sex abuse industry hype.