Your body reacts to stimuli regardless of whether you want it to happen or not. You were turned on by what he did and enjoyed it, and that's not anything to be ashamed of. Not every person is traumatized by sexual assault- I was r**ed at 18 (in the 90's) by a guy that I knew. He used lube so there wasn't any bad pain involved, and it actually felt really good. I knew what he did was wrong, and I was really angry with him (and never spoke to him again,) but it was way too much trouble for me to do anything about it. I felt guilty that this guy was probably going to do this to another person, but other than that it didn't really bother me. My attitude about sex, my body, and the fact that I wasn't afraid of him probably saved me from trauma. After the fact it just felt like he made me participate in an activity that I didn't want to do. I didn't feel violated or dirty or anything like that, nor did I think I asked for it. I was just angry at him and felt guilty for not being able to really do anything about it. it was more like oh well, and I moved on. I've spoken to other women my age and a few had the same type experience or worse and just moved on with their lives without any issues. Whatever you feel about what happened to you is OK, as is what you do about it.