I'm sorry you're being downvoted so much - if it helps at all I don't think you've said anything wrong.

I can understand where you're coming from but I don't know. I feel like "divides be damned lets all get together" can also be problematic. Sometimes we do need the division (not in a racist segregation way, to clarify) because it can be really comforting and helpful to be around people who get you. That's why women's groups are important, mens groups are important, POC groups are important, LGBT+ groups are important, etc. and it's also important to sometimes have further divides within those. I think it's 100% reasonable for trans women and trans men to seek out spaces without cis men/women in them and it's reasonable for lesbians or gay men to want spaces that are just ours and not a mix of bi/pan people.

That's not to say that those groups should never mix, though. I think it's important to have solely lesbian spaces, solely bisexual & pansexual spaces, but to also have general WLW spaces where we can all come and talk together. They're both necessary and helpful and wanting to have one space without bi/pan women doesn't mean I want every space to be without bi/pan women.

Circling back to what we were talking about I think a divide between same sex attracted individuals and same gender attracted people can be useful, too. Talking with you, you've been lovely and understanding. But the general consensus among WLW groups that are mixed with bi/pan women, sex/gender attracted lesbians, is that we are wrong for not being attracted to dick. We get told that trans women have softer, more delicate, feminine penises that aren't really comparable to cis mans penis' (it even happened in this thread) as if that's going to change that fact that I am not capable of being attracted to them. This doesn't solely come from trans women so I'm faulting them - it's cis women as well. Cis women who are capable of being attracted to penis/male sex characteristics who talk down to and call women who can't be attracted to those things terfs, transphobes, bigots, etc.

I don't know if that made much sense but hopefully it did. As I said above I would love it if I could be simply same gender (or all gender) attracted because that would make my life easier. But I can't and my sexuality is constantly being hated on for it.