The phrase ‘forgive and forget’ strikes a cord in me. I am an adult and really Didn’t have anything to complain about materially growing up - i had clothes, home, food, good schooling etc. But my feelings and opinions for myself never mattered. i hesitate to speak up. Nervous about posting here too. My parent’s drilled into me ….forgive and forget. It was as though I wouldn’t be a good person unless I instantly forgave anything said or did to me in the family. It was always said with lots of love, cajoling me , telling me to live by the principle of forgive and forget. So I truly absorbed it as parental guidance .but this meant I didn’t end up havign boundaries. I will post in Asian parents sub also. I grew up with my brother hitting me. I woudl complain and complain but it was always blown off as just siblings arguing . Finally I thought that this is normal …all brothers hit thier sisters . Thought it’s a normal part of growing up. Then , as any good Asian child, i ended up in medical school. Moved away from home. When I was a resident my brother came to visit. We had an argument snd he slapped me across the face ..i was 26 years old. I said I will go no contact with him. My dad called me and went on insisting on ‘forgive and forget ‘ …again said very lovingly , how family comes first, this is how we shoudl be in families, forgiving. i Gave in, many instances of giving in, now I face a lifetime of resentment I built up, I realize I give in in every situation ….work, relationships etc. I ended up giving so much money to my family because they needed it. it’s viewed as my duty …. I will post on Asian parents sub also. On the outside I look confident, but inside , am very anxious always feel somethig. Is wrong with me. very non assertive about my opinions. Not sure how to improve. Maybe it’s too late since I am middle aged now, thanks for letting me post, have never told anyone these things.