Honestly man, you just have to quit taking yourself too seriously. I know that sounds backwards but hear me out. When I first started I had HUGE problems asserting myself and saying no unless it was something obviously “no”. Then I tried saying no more. It didn’t go well. Why? Because I was taking myself too seriously and just expecting that the badge on my belt meant everyone would just do what I said. Knock yourself down a couple of rungs, understand that nobody is going to listen the first time (not immediately anyway) and you’re gonna have to fight people on stuff for a while, but just be nonchalant about it. When they give you shit, if it helps, just say “the higher ups are cracking down on this stuff and I personally don’t have a choice”. When they come back with the “well everyone else does it” you just say, “well this is what I was told. I know it’s stupid, but I just need you to bear with it.” Blame it on brass if you have to, but it will help you at least get accustomed to saying no and standing up to them a little bit.

Try and get out of the habit of being the guy they know will do stupid shit for them. I’m all for helping when I can, but I’m not doing it every time. It’s not my job. If it’s not laundry day, you’re not exchanging your clothes for new ones. If the librarian didn’t give you a book, tough shit, if I see one laying around I’ll grab it but I’ve got other stuff that takes precedence. Sometimes it takes a “facade of compromise” (as I like to call it). Let them know when they ask for shit, “hey, I don’t know if I will have the time or ability to do this, but if I do, I will try. Can’t promise anything one way or the other.” Im not saying you should lie to them, but don’t go out of your way either. If you legitimately do have the time and ability and it’s not out of your way, go for it. Otherwise, just leave it. They’ll realize that you will help when you can, but that you aren’t an errand boy.

Hope some of this helps a little bit.