hopefully a short intense vent will letoff enough steam that i can actualy sleep (bad gender)
im never going to talk to anyone about this, i just cant. even imagining these words coming out of my mouth just on my own without a listener makes me sick. i dont rven want to think of myself as trans, even typing that word in relation to myself felt like a punch in tge gut. this is never going to end, itll iust slowly drain me until theres nothing left and i end. feel sick even thinking about what i just wrote
also sorry for not responding to any replies in my past messages, usually i send these right before sleep (like hopefully i will do right now) and in the morning i dont even wanna think about it all and even later it feels like its too late to reply. just sorry and thank you and goodnight.
